Thoughts on Porn

Pornography is probably one of the most divisive issues within the feminist movement. One camp of radical feminists claim that pornography is inherently degrading to women and should not be produced or consumed. Any who disagree are immediately suspected of having patriarchal sympathies. In the other camp are the feminists who argue that participating in or consuming pornography is not inherently degrading and that women are free to make their own choices regarding the appropriate place of pornography in their lives. They call themselves sex-positive feminists, which I think is a bit of a misnomer. It's entirely possible to think that porn is bad yet have a healthy and active and rewarding sex life. Either way, there's quite a lot of vitriol being thrown back and forth between the two camps.

Personally, I believe there will be erotically-stimulating material in any culture, no matter how sex-positive or woman-friendly that culture happens to be. There are erotic cave paintings in France which they don't show you - paintings which were made, if you believe certain anthropologists, when the Goddess was the primary religious focus and sex was certainly A-OK. So depictions of erotic or sexual behavior should not be considered to be degrading in and of themselves. If a loving couple videotapes themselves having sex, no one is degraded. If they decided to be really kinky and put that on the Internet, I still believe no one is being degraded as long as they both understand and accept the potential consequences of that choice.

However, to say that porn does not have the potential to be degrading is naive in the extreme. Of course there is porn out there which is exceptionally degrading, and anyone who regularly consumes it should be immediately suspected as having anti-social or misogynist tendencies.

So where is the line drawn between 'good' porn and 'bad' porn? Or, as the terminology has evolved, erotica and porn? I think the key is the shame in consuming porn.

Like it or not, we still live in a fairly sex-negative culture. We talk out of both sides of our mouth, culturally-speaking. Sex is wonderful and fun and people should accept their bodies and their sexuality. But there's still a treatment of sex as dirty and bad. In film, a scene of a couple having loving sex is enough to earn an R or NC-17 - but that same woman can be shown as being tortured and perhaps only earn a PG-13 rating. Women should enjoy their bodies, but heaven help them if they carry condoms in their purse or even accidentally get pregnant - those women are sluts. Children and teenagers shouldn't be taught about sex at all - just that it shouldn't be done before marriage. We don't go as far as to call women who've had sex sluts, but a virgin is still described as pure.

I think that's where the degradation angle comes in when it comes to porn. Take gay porn. No one is campaigning against gay porn, claiming the actors are degraded by their participation. I think it's in part because gay men have already resolved most of their shame issues about sex during the process of resolving the issues about being homosexual. Issues of sex being shameful or dirty have resolved, at least by those who shape the thought of the gay rights movement and gay culture. Therefore, there's not a question of degradation involved in gay porn.

But straight porn is something else (I include lesbian porn in this category, since we all know straight men watch way more lesbian porn than real lesbians, if only through sheer volume). Some of those men who watch porn feel ashamed because they've been taught sex is wrong, porn is wrong, and masturbation is wrong. If they accepted that what they're doing is indeed wrong, they have to face a couple unpleasant scenarios: either they keep satisfying an extraordinarily strong drive and accept they're terrible people; or they have to take the 'moral' stance and disavow porn and masturbation. Many people, men and women, I think, are able to healthily integrate porn & masturbation.

But I think there's another group (primarily men) who have problems integrating that way. Loathe to either stop or accept they're bad people, they displace their shame and guilt onto the product itself. It's a variant of blame-the-victim. "If she hadn't been wearing that skirt and been so drunk, I wouldn't have wanted to rape her." "It's the fault of the actress I'm aroused by watching her." So they want to see the actresses degraded, to punish them for making them feel ashamed about watching porn (and perhaps to punish women in general for making them masturbate instead of doing the kind thing and sleeping with them). I think that's the root of degrading, 'gonzo' porn.

So the solution, therefore, is not to criminalize porn (I had a chance once to talk to a porn actor who got started when porn was still illegal. Porn will always be produced and consumed, banning it will simply force it back underground, like Prohibition and liquor). The solution is to promote a healthy attitude about sex (Note to Bush Administration and GOP: Abstinence-only education will only make your problems worse). Teach people the skills necessary for having a functional relationship, where they learn to relate to their partner as an equal and not an object or subordinate/superior. Promote the idea that sexual desire is healthy, that masturbation is healthy and perfectly acceptable.

I think once that happens, the problem of degrading porn will solve itself.